How confidence is built: The role of your body and nervous system

Amy Cotterill
Sep 3
4 min read

A woman sat on a rock overlooking a view feeling lost and not feeling confident.

Confidence isn’t a personality trait

Confidence isn’t something you either have or you don’t. It’s built by doing, by repeating, and by proving to yourself I can do this.

But there’s a missing piece: if your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, your body will put the brakes on and confidence can’t grow.

Why your body hits the brakes

Your nervous system is designed to protect you, not hold you back. Through a polyvagal lens, it constantly scans your environment for safety. This process, called neuroception, is happening beneath conscious awareness, so we don't event get a say in it. It's happening automatically.

If your system detects threat, you’re pulled into survival states:

fight (pushing through with force or frustration),
flight (avoiding, distracting, staying busy),
freeze (shutting down, stuck, unable to act),
fawn (people pleasing or appeasing instead of expressing your truth).

In these states, action doesn’t always feel possible. No matter how much your mind wants something, your body will put on the handbrake and want you to stay in the comfort of what it knows.

Confidence for me recently

For me, I've been experiencing this with getting back into my freediving training..

I live in Dahab, one of the best freediving places in the world, yet months can pass without training. Out of the water, confidence fades and my body is quick to remember the challenge more than the joy I get from it.

But the moment I let myself take a baby step - a snorkel with friends, a fun dive with the coral and fish - my body realises it’s safe again. The confidence builds back, one step at a time.

It’s not about forcing myself to the line. It’s about reminding my body, this isn’t dangerous, you can do this.

Freediving. Taking steps to build my confidence . — Having fun freediving. Hanging out with a giant fan in Ras Mohamed National Park, Egypt.

The cost of waiting for confidence

If you don’t practice confidence in safe ways, self-doubt fills the space.

You play smaller, your voice gets quieter, you second-guess yourself.

In leadership, in your work, and in your life - the moments where you want to step forward start to slip by.

Confidence doesn’t grow from waiting. It grows from safe action.

How the nervous system and body build confidence

Here's how I see confidence.

Confidence = action + nervous system safety.

Action alone can feel overwhelming if we're stuck in dysregulation. Building safety in the body alone won’t create the lived proof with out action. But together, they build the kind of muscle memory your body trusts and can repeat.

Micro-steps that rewire your system for confidence

Here are some ways you can try if you're struggling feeling confident to begin something:

Shrink The Step Until It Feels Safe
Break a step into smaller parts until your body signals, yes, I could try that - that seems doable.
Pair Action With Regulation
Before starting something new or a step that feels a little nervous, regulate your body first: take a deep inhale to fill your belly, then make the exhale longer than the inhale - this signals us into the parasympathetic system - our more relaxed state.
Track What Your Body Learns
When you take a small action, pause. Notice how you feel now compared to before. Your body begins to trust its safe to take similar actions because nothing bad happened.
Use Repetition As Proof
Do something small more than once. Over time your body registers, I know this, I can do it again.

Somatic breathwork to tap into confidence. — Practising Bellows Breath - A great breathwork to energise your system

Why somatic work is the missing piece

Your fascia and connective tissues hold trauma, tension, and unprocessed emotions. When they stay locked, your body feels less able to move forward.

That’s why I am obsessed with Yin Yoga. In Yin we focus directly on fascia and connective tissue - creating a controlled release in these areas. It allows what’s been held there, what's no longer serving you, to flush out of our system and enables a healthier flow through the body. Creating more space to invite new in.

Beyond Yin, somatic practices, breathwork, and body-based awareness expand your body’s capacity for safety. Each time you practice, you’re tuning into your body - listening more closely and getting to know its signals better. The more you do this, the more you can recognise what your body is telling you, and respond with regulation instead of getting pulled into old patterns of survival states.

With greater safety in your system, taking action becomes easier. And with each safe step, confidence builds.

Reclaiming confidence

Confidence isn’t fixed, and it’s not out of reach.

It’s built when you act with your body on board.

When you combine small actions with somatic practices that expand capacity, confidence grows naturally.

If you’d like to explore this, you can take a look below:

A short confidence somatic practice on YouTube [link once ready]
My free 21-Day Confidence Activation, blending mindset tools, yoga, and breathwork to help you build confidence step by step.

Want more nervous system insights and somatic practices gearing you to finally take action on what you've been holding back on? Or maybe you want to start showing up as the version of you you know is inside?

Amy x