Why Insight Isn’t Enough to Create Real Change (And the Role of the Nervous System)

There’s a point many people reach where they’re clear about what needs to change, but still can’t seem to move.

They know the role, career, or way they’re working no longer fits. They can name what matters to them now. They’ve thought it through properly. They’re not confused, and they’re not lacking motivation.

And yet, when it comes to actually taking steps, something holds them back.

This is often misunderstood as hesitation, fear, or a confidence issue. Sometimes people assume they just need more clarity, more planning, or a better strategy.

But for many of the people I work with, that’s not what’s happening.

What’s really going on is that this stage of change, especially in career and identity transitions, is no longer driven by insight alone.

When Understanding Isn’t Enough to Move Forward

Most of the people who come to me are already self-aware.

They’ve reflected deeply. They can articulate what’s no longer working and why. Coaching, reflection, and mindset work have often supported them well up to this point, particularly earlier in their careers.

That’s why this phase can feel so frustrating.

They understand the situation. They agree with the reasons for change. They may even feel clear about the direction they want to move in. And still, nothing really shifts.

This isn’t because coaching stops being useful. It’s because the kind of change they’re facing now isn’t just practical or strategic.

At this stage, the question isn’t “What do I think about this?”

It’s “Why does this still feel hard when I know what I want?”

Why Career and Identity Transitions Feel Harder Than Expected

By the time someone reaches this point, they’ve spent years learning how to operate in a particular way.

Their nervous system has learned what it takes to succeed, shaping nervous system patterns that support performance and stability.

It’s learned how to stay switched on, manage pressure, carry responsibility, and keep going even when things feel stretched. Over time, those responses are reinforced. Neural pathways strengthen around what works. The body supports that way of operating through tension and bracing that develops gradually and often goes unnoticed.

This isn’t a problem.

It’s how success is built.

But those patterns don’t automatically update when the direction of work changes.

When someone moves toward work that feels more meaningful and intentional, the nervous system can read that move as risk, even when it makes sense and is genuinely wanted.

That’s where friction appears.

What It Looks Like When the Nervous System Can’t Yet Hold the Change

What it sounds like in real life is:

• spending a long time preparing without actually starting

• waiting to feel more certain before moving, and noticing that certainty never quite arrives

• staying in work that no longer gives much back, but not feeling relief at the idea of leaving

• knowing what you want next, then pulling back when it’s time to act

• feeling stuck between “I can’t keep doing this” and “I can’t move yet”

People often find this confusing. They know what they want, but can’t work out why they’re not moving toward it.

And that’s the point.

Because the thing that’s holding this isn’t always accessible through understanding alone.

How Coaching Works Differently When Nervous System Capacity Is Included

Coaching remains the core of my work.

We work with beliefs, internal expectations, identity, and the narratives that shaped earlier success. But at this stage, coaching needs to work alongside the nervous system and the body, because that’s where many long-held patterns are reinforced.

As those patterns begin to update, something important changes.

Not through force or pushing, but through increased capacity.

People develop the nervous system capacity to hold the visibility, uncertainty, and responsibility that come with career or leadership change.

As that capacity builds:

• decisions feel less internally loaded

• the constant mental looping quietens

• follow-through becomes possible without overriding yourself

• the next step starts to feel more available

This is how change becomes sustainable, not just understood.

Who This Work Is For: Identity, Career, and Leadership Transitions

This work is for people who have achieved what they were told would equal success.

They’ve progressed, built credibility, and become capable in complex environments. They know how to carry responsibility and perform under pressure.

Now they’re at a point where the question isn’t about doing more.

It’s about what they want their work to stand for now, and how they want to use their time, energy, and influence in a way that feels meaningful and intentional.

They’re not looking for motivation.

They’re looking for a way forward that actually works at this level.

Closing

When this layer is ignored, people often stay stuck between chapters.

Clear enough to know the old way no longer fits.

Not yet resourced internally to step fully into what’s next.

Some try to push through it. Others try to ignore it. Neither tends to work for long.

This is the level I work at. Supporting people through identity, career, and leadership transitions using nervous-system-informed coaching, so the change they already understand becomes something they can actually live.